


Being Human

by SheLovedTooEasily



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean is human again, M/M, Season/Series 10, idek how to tag this, my tombstone will read ‘she was a decent writer but she sucked at tagging’, so is Castiel, there is a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:12:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1740902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheLovedTooEasily/pseuds/SheLovedTooEasily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Castiel have finally succeeded at curing Dean, and he is human again. Meanwhile, the process of curing Dean has caused Castiel’s stolen grace to burn out entirely, giving the angel no other choice but to become an ordinary human as well. This is the moment where they both realize that being human is pretty freaking amazing, especially when you can do it with the person you love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Human

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after season 9, this is me writing some happiness after the utter sadness that was the season 9 finale.

Dean Winchester was blankly staring at the wall of his room, motionlessly sitting on the edge of his comfortable bed, the one with the memory foam mattress. He was tired, immensely so. Of course it made sense for him to be _this_ exhausted; technically, Dean had months and months of sleep to catch up on.  

Demons didn’t need sleep, but humans sure did. After half a year of being without the ability to feel tiredness, or to feel much of anything for that matter, Dean was slightly overwhelmed by the force of the now very foreign human sensations that crashed down on him all at once. Sadly, his brain made it downright impossible for him to simply crawl into bed and go to sleep, even though his body was screaming at him to do just that.

It had been a long day, perhaps one of the longest days in Dean’s life, but after months of trying, his brother and his best friend had finally succeeded at curing him. This morning Dean had still been fighting them when they’d captured him by using some sort of special limited edition devil’s trap, but right now he felt nothing but gratitude towards Sammy and Cas for not giving up on him and bringing him back. It hadn’t been an easy process, but he preferred not to dwell on anything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. The only important thing was that Dean was himself again, and despite his long history of self-loathing, for now he decided that this was a good thing.

A soft knock on the door startled Dean out of his thoughts, and his head flew up.

“Come in.” He called automatically.

The door opened gently with a soft cracking noise, and Castiel tentatively poked his head through the opening. Dean still had enough energy left to shoot his best friend a genuine smile.

“Hey buddy, are you okay?”

Cas nodded, returning the smile with a rare smile of his own. “I’m fine, Dean. I was just going to ask you the same thing.”

Dean sighed, trying to ignore the sudden wave of guilt that washed over him.

Unfortunately, Dean was not the only one who’d been reduced to the status of ‘ordinary human’ today. Castiel’s already weakened stolen grace had been on the verge of burning out when he’d used the last of his powers to activate the demon-curing spell that Sam had found, and so the former angel had been left with two options: dying along with said stolen grace, or ripping it out so that he could live on as a human.

Dean would never admit it out loud, but he’d felt an insane amount of relief when Cas had willingly chosen the latter.

“Why don’t you come in for a sec?” Dean tilted his head in invitation.

Cas’ tired smile stayed in place as he nodded. “Of course.”

Castiel closed the door behind him, and Dean noticed that he already looked more human than he had in a while. Maybe it was because he was no longer wearing his customary layers of clothing, the coat and the jacket of his dress suit no longer present, just the dress pants and the white shirt. Or perhaps it was because his dark messy hair was even more disarrayed than it usually was.

He sat down next to Dean on the bed, keeping a reasonable distance between the two of them. Dean’s eyes strayed to the dried blood that covered the shallow cut on the side of Cas’ throat, another unwelcome reminder of the ripped out grace.

As per usual, Castiel didn’t bother with small talk, getting straight to the point. “How are you feeling, Dean?”

The short laugh that unexpectedly left Dean’s throat sounded slightly hysterical, even to his own ears. “I don’t know, Cas. Tired. Confused… _Human_.”

Cas nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“What about you, man?” Dean asked after a short moment of silence, realizing that Cas was going through something eerily similar at the moment. “The question should be how do _you_ feel?”

“Tired, confused… Human.” The ex angel copied Dean’s exact words, one of the corners of his mouth lifting up into a weary half smile.

That smile made Dean’s stomach flip for some reason, and after being sans any real emotions for an extended period of time, it seemed to hit him with extra force.

“Yeah… Human.” Dean repeated quietly. “And you’re okay with that?”

Castiel seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, his bright blue eyes never leaving Dean’s face as he contemplated the question.

“I think I am… There was a time not too long ago when I wanted nothing more than to have my powers back, all of them. But now… I think I can make do without them.”

The reply seemed to be carefully formulated, and Dean’s curiosity got the best of him. “Alright…. So, what changed?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at his best friend.

“You.” Cas simply said, the reply instant, his blue eyes sincere.

That was not at all the answer that Dean had expected, and his traitorous heart skipped a beat.

“ _Me_? Care to elaborate?” He pressed, feeling a little bit brave tonight.

Another silence, but the two of them never broke eye contact while Cas obviously deliberated whether or not he was going to honestly answer Dean.

“Only if you want to.” Dean hastily assured him, not wanting to make his friend uncomfortable.

Without really thinking about it, he rested a hand on Castiel’s knee in a comforting gesture. It seemed to be enough to get Cas to talk.

“When he… when _Metatron_ told me you were _dead_ , I was feeling more hopeless than I’d ever felt in my existence. I was unwilling to accept that you were gone. I felt helpless without my powers because I wanted to fix it, I wanted to bring you back no matter the cost, but most of all… I didn’t want to _feel_ anything, not until I succeeded at saving you. I was already partly human when I thought you had… died. I felt so much… pain. Pain that I was able to block out when I was still an angel, but couldn’t deal with as a human… But now you’re back, and you’re safe… And human. And I suppose I don’t really mind being human too. Like you…”

Castiel’s eyes dropped to where Dean’s hand was resting on his knee. Dean’s own eyes dropped to that same place as he let the former angel’s confession sink in.

It truly baffled Dean, how much Castiel cared about him. How much this celestial being was willing to do _for_ him, _because_ of him. He felt a lump in his throat, but at the same time he felt an unfamiliar warmth spread in his chest. Cas had to truly _love_ him in order to risk everything for him, as much as that particular word terrified Dean.

Dean broke out of his trance when Castiel placed his own hand over Dean’s, lightly squeezing it.

He glanced up, meeting Cas’ gaze again.

“I’m sorry, Cas.” He whispered, suddenly feeling sick with guilt.

Castiel frowned, looking utterly confused. “ _You’re_ sorry? For what?”

“Everything!” Dean blurted out louder than he’d intended. “I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through because of me, I’m sorry you lost your wings because of me… I’m sorry you lost your family, your home, all because you chose me over them, over and over again. I’m sorry!”

Dean removed his hand from Cas’ grip to agitatedly run it through his sandy hair as he spoke, staring at his shoes to avoid actually looking at his best friend as he voiced his feelings of guilt and despair. “I’m sorry you had to lose it all for me, Cas. That was never my intention.”

“Dean.” Cas said calmly when Dean ran out of words. “Please look at me.”

When Cas gently placed a hand against the side of Dean’s cheek, he reluctantly obeyed. Their eyes connected once again, blue meeting green.

“Don’t be sorry, Dean. I’m not.” Cas declared solemnly. “I have no regrets, and if given the choice, I would do it all over again.”

It felt like the world stopped turning for a second. Dean’s heart felt like it was about to explode. This was it. Dean knew that he’d never intended to fall in love with his best friend. His best friend who was _a guy_. A human guy now. But he didn’t care anymore, because somewhere along the way, it had happened anyway. Denying it any longer was pointless, and after five years, Dean Winchester was done fighting his feelings.

In an act of recklessness, Dean leaned in, pressing his lips to Castiel’s without any warning. Castiel froze completely, his hand still resting against Dean’s cheek. To Dean’s relief, that surprise only lasted half a second, and he soon felt how those appealing pink lips willingly moved against his own. Dean took that as a sign that it was okay, and his hands travelled up into his best friend’s messy hair as he eagerly deepened the kiss. Cas’ arms moved to firmly wrap themselves around Dean’s neck, and Dean randomly thought about how he could get used to this.

It was good to feel again. It was good to be _human_ again… Especially when the person you loved didn’t mind being human _with you_.

~*~*~

Dean laughed as he let himself fall back against the memory foam mattress, taking Cas with him. They were both slightly out of breath due to their lengthy make out session, and Dean took a shaky breath as he pulled Cas closer to him, wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s frame.

“I missed you, Dean. I missed us, even as friends… Just being normal, and talking.” Cas offered out of the blue, sounding serious.

“Yeah, me too…” Dean admitted, pressing a light kiss against Castiel’s temple. “So Cas…” He started after a short silence, considering how he was going to broach the subject that he wanted to discuss.

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel’s eyes darted up to look at him, a joyful glint in them.

“Look, I know you have your own room now and all… But if you want, we could um… Share this one?” Dean proposed, hopefully grinning down at the man in his arms.

Cas grinned back, quirking an eyebrow at him. “I suppose we could…” He mused.

Dean snorted when a thought crossed his mind. “Do you think it would be okay for a demon and an angel to share a bed?”

Cas shrugged, a very human trait that Dean guessed he had picked up from Sammy.

“I’m not quite sure about that, Dean. However, I do think it’s perfectly fine for _two humans_ to do so.”

“Hmm yeah, that sounds about right.” Dean agreed easily.

“That’s settled then.” Castiel confirmed, surprising Dean by gently pecking him on the lips.

Dean smirked, feeling lighter than he’d ever felt in his life. “Wow Cas… it’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it? Being human…” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, have a lovely day!
> 
> shelovedtooeasily.tumblr.com


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